Kyle Ritter

Things I don’t want to do be doing at this exact moment in time.
(a) Working, so therefore, I post in this journal thing, and let 3:30 friday office doldrums take their toll. So I promise myself that I will get this mockup done by monday.
(b) Breathing heavily.
(c) Wearing a sweater.
(d) Drinking cold coffee.

Things I want to be doing
(a) Having naked sex with this chick http://www.tokidoki.it/pages/main.html?left=71&top=67

What a kick ass designer she is. It’s a shame that flash isn’t search engine friendly, and that most surfers get annoyed with 100% flash sites, because it is a sweet medium. For a few years I made flash cartoons and games and stuff, and it was the best job in the world, but if I had made the front page in all flash we would have lost a shitload of traffic which would mean less ad sales.

If what the bible says is true, then I am a manifestation Lionel Ritchie (post commodores era).
I’m thinking about starting a cult based on this. It’ll be great fun, you’ll be saved for one, and simple and easy to join. Just follow two simple rules

(1)you have to give me every paycheck you recieve.
(2)you must allow me to fornicate with your wife.
2.a If you are female, you must fornicate with me, while chanting “Oh what a feeling, Lionel Ritchie!”
2.b All females must help me populate the earth with little Lionelets.
(3) T-bogg has free range to run around and yell a bunch of shit.

See. Simple.
<br><br>
<a href=http://www.twofinger.com><img src=http://www.twofinger.com/evil;.jpg border=0 alt=”private d” ><img src=http://www.twofinger.com/nose.jpg border=0 alt=”private d” ></a><br> Jason is apparently putting up his latest movie. If any one wants sweet video production, talk to this sonsabitch. <a href=http://www.twofinger.com>two finger sniff</a>

Made a few updates on <a href=http://www.churnonline.com>Churn</a>. This site is definitely an exciting project, and Jeff seems to be giving me an incredible amount of control. Churnmag.com is number one on the results page in google for “<a href=http://www.churnmag.com>art magazine</a>”, now I need to build numero uno placements for churnonline.com for the similar terms. We were discussing adding a music review section specifically for the website, with larger interview pieces in the print version. I’m too much of an irreverent fucker to write anything of substance, but I’m sure someone out there would volunteer to do it. At some point, money might even be an option.

Recruit the JBW the Acid Mouth Jew to piss on the demo disc parade?
Recruit my own my younger brother who has a little press cred for music oriented stuff?
Take random submission in exchange for link backs?
Anyone, anyone?

I love the stuff. Nothing cures a cold like tits and whiskey.

Some cool projects coming up in the near future. My buddy Jeff has this art magazine he was publishing, then he let it die. Being a sensitive artist and all, he just can’t quite figure it out. He has recruited me to help with layout of a new issue and fix the many broken things on the site <a href=http://www.churnonline.com>Churn Online</a>. Their might be some cool extended HR Giger bits and chunks. It has decent readership, both the print and online version, so it oughta help send me a few more projects that generate $$$.

The <a href=http://www.livejournal.com/users/aaronshame/>SHIP</a> site seems like it will be a fun little project to rape and pillage. I’ve spent like an hour looking at assorted pictures of pirate ships and schooner oriented websites. Google image searches mostly turn up lego pirate ship kits. Har. Let yer ass feel the wrath of Captain Morgan’s infernal fury!

It’s friday, I’m sick of being sick, my soundcard went out yesterday so I can’t listen to music on my computer, sick of the incessant drone of this horrid adult contemporary radio station playing in my office is driving me batshit. In fact, it’s driving me so insane that I decided to stop working work and post it in some stupid journal thing like it was an important thing that the whole world REALLY MUST KNOW.

Who listens to that shit anyway. Really? I’m wondering how many people hear that chick covering a bryan adams song or that Celine Dion song about that <a href=http://www.livejournal.com/users/aaronshame/>SHIP</a> that sank a long time ago and think to themselves “that speaks to me. It really, really speaks to me. I want to hear it again, and again, and again. This is the shit, yo.” I keep imagining those annoying office ladies who wear the clacky shoes and smell like dry cleaners, with a complacent smile on their face, as they feel real important whenever they recieve a fax of something. If there ever was a good argument for forced sterilization, it would be those people.

Speaking of Celine Dion and the Chick who Covers that Bryan Adams Song I have a few questions that need answering.
(a) What happens at the end of that movie about the boat that sank a long time ago? Did the Leonardo guy save the chick at the end and save the boat in the nick of time? And then the credits role and that Celine Dion song comes on?

(b) Who in their right mind thinks that covering a Bryan Adams song will help their career? Particularly when it is played on a radio station that plays the original bryan adams song anyway.